The sky is violet…n the breeze is chill…not cold….the chillness brought a sudden jerk in the spine….the violet sky represented the state of mind…it has been running from the truth…didn’t want to face wht the truth was…..even though everyone has heard it saying the truth…they don’t want to hear it…n they don’t want it also to accept that it was the reality….Y does everyone want to hear every time everything is fine…y they cannot take the simple truth…

took this foto on sunday.....I thought it represented purity....

some thought....

mmm...sometimes I keep wondering...y ppl have so much hatred/dislike in them...or y r they so egoistic ..... lot of them cannt forego it....it would be exaggurating if I said I didnt have ego.....but not any more ........when I was abt 20 or so I couldnt compromise my ego N didnt actually talk with one of my closebuddy...I did talk...none of them knew tht we were having a cold war...thts wht I say...I did everything N she did everything but the closeness tht we shared was missing....it was as if we were being nice to each other...as we didnt want anyone to speculate about our freindship...and after 4 yrs we broke the barriage...when I think abt it I jus feel tht I was acting like a kid.....jo aapna bath mana ne ke liye...kuch bhi kartha hai....but I am no more like tht.. ....now even if I have somesort of misunderstanding I try to clarify it...I dont feel anysort of ego to go and talk with the other person...I feel tht some one should take the 1st step...I have no problem in taking the 1st step...as I have realized how hard it was to take the 1st step...to forego ego....its not worth to lose so much of time... life is short ...its like "Pyar ke liye poori zindagi kam padthi hai...jane kaha log nafrat ke liye waqt nikal lethe hai" N if I jus go on stop talking with ppl ...or I am tring to be nice to other person...I would be at loss...with a bitter feeling towards everyone...I am not gaining any thng from it...except for some sort of dislike/hate towards others...I am not proving any point. to anyone not even to me...now I cannt really say tht I have overcomed it completely...but definetly I did...and when I encounter ppl like me(past me)...I am like...this is me......which brings a cresent on my face....I am happy.....rather I should say at peace.....y am I talking or thinking all this......may be becoz I c ppl hating...disliking other ppl so much...Iseral and lebonon ...... India and pakistan....US A/West and so called terrorists groups.......each one of them have a false ego...which they bread.....n even if one wants to compromise the other party doesnt want...even it cost lifes of innocent humans.....

one month

its almost one month......
the restless ness is not much....its kind of numb....except for odd day I dont feel anything abt anything....thts kind of odd...I c the feelings or wht U call the human reactions are slowly ending....I no more feel attracted to anything...I am not eager or enthusiastic abt anythng....I have seen my self transforming into this......I no more feel bored...or excited.....days jus pass...wht I want from life....this question pops up regularly.....for which I have no answers......I do a lot of daydreaming...but exactly I dont know wht I want from life or wht am I searching....I donnow....
nowadays...I become imaptient sudeenly...jus for few mins... hardly last for 2 min.....then everything is normal....

Wierd Thought

“Rulake gaya Sapna mera…”.was going in the background….its one of her favorite…she was having coffee in the balcony….the evening breeze was cool n slow….the sun hasn’t gone back home….and sky was looking a bit sad….as it was time to bid farewell to its partner…it was all in orange N black shade….mmmmm….she was totally engrossed in the weather N the song……she felt a sudden urge that ……wht would happen if life stopped for a moment here….

ME....Jus RUNNING !!!

I was watching TV N saw this ad of Chase bank…where this song is played in the background “everything you need is love”….n ppl gifting each other…

This ad made me think…..wht we really want or need as a Human…..I don’t think love is what we all are running around…..

SIV:….their may be exceptions….

Me:….I am talking ppl in genral…

SIV:…mmm…

ME:….if love was wht we all need or want then this world would have been more beautifulll or rather peaceful…..their wouldn’t have been so much violence /natural disasters happening all around the world…their wouldn’t have been blasts in Mumbai.. Baghdad…Lebanon…Israeli…or any other place….their wouldn’t been drought in Somalia….Tsunami in Indonesia….floods in various countries which kill thousands of ppl every year…… All we need is “MONEY”….which provides us the power to control others…or terrorize them …..show others tht we r more superior then them…..

SIV:….mmmm….

Me:…..N the stupidity of Homo Sapiens has deepen so much tht they tend to believe in such ads N are satisfied by the instant pleasure/happiness tht these materialistic things provide…..RUN behind them……

SIV:…don’t U think u r some what over reacting on a small ad…..

Me:…..I don’t think I am over reacting….I hate my self at this moment to be one of them…running around money/materialistic things…

do I do any thing to stop all this? …..

Answer is NO….

All tht I can do is to jus sympathize with those ppl who suffer from such things at tht moment or…shed a tear……or… criticize the ppl who are doing it …N next moment I move on with my RUN……

I would be more effected or I would be unhappy for longer period if I knew the ppl(personally) who have been affected by such things…. after tht…the RUN again starts….

I sometimes feel…tht Man must have been more content rather happy with life when he hasn't fed himself with so much knowledge abt so many things…..

I sometimes even wish tht the evolution of Man from ape didn’t occur….after all this evolution and advancement……we still didn’t get rid of tht animal instinct in us…TO KILL…we are jus pathetic…all we do is to defend our self for our selfish acts….N the reason that we give is ”In order to survive we should be like tht”……

…mmm…I guess I am more lazy to do anything to stop things…..rather I don’t want to take the chance….or I am afraid tht I may fail…..and I am a PATHETIC Human…who likes to complain rather than doing something abt it……all I do is …. remove my frustration(hide my inability) by writing abt it….so tht latter I can defend my self saying tht atleast I reacted ……PATHETIC ME !!!!……

SIV……I totally agree with U…mmmm……….